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“The Week Before Christmas:
A Cleveland Fan’s Christmas Wish”

By
Kenny the Cab Driver

T’was the week before Christmas and all through our town
The fans were preparing to watch our beloved Cleveland Browns.

The faces were all painted with big eager grins
In hopes for at least one more late season win.

They started early with a gleam in their eyes;
Hoping for a victory which would be a surprise

While D.B. and I sat in the garage eager to cheer;
Ready with nachos and cold frosty beer.

When suddenly outside the taxi stand there arose such a clatter;
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter!

Was someone out there looking for a last minute ride
I ran to the door to take a quick look outside

When what in front of my wondering eyes did appear;
That Jolly old elf, Santa, with a Braut and a beer.

His eyes did glisten and there was snow on the beard on his chin
As D.B. screamed the game was about to begin!

“I’m here for a reason” Santa did say;
‘Cause you cheer on the team every time that they play”

“Your always encouraging even when their faced with defeat;
You say they might win, when you know they’ll get beat”

You are here for your team, those darn Cleveland Browns;
You are the voice of victory in this sad football town.”

“So I am here to grant you one Christmas wish;
Decide what you want from the top of your lists”.

D.B. did a cheer while I pondered our fate
And watched as Santa scooped a nacho from the end of my plate

I stood quietly, thinking and pondered my request;
I knew that my wish had to be for what we wanted best.

“I know our wish Santa”, my voice seemed to bellow;
So loud was I that it startled the old fellow.

There is one wish that we hope you could bring;
That each player would wear a Championship ring.

The Lombardi trophy is what we desire;
I was so excited, I began to perspire.

But then I realized from the look on his face;
That Trophy in Cleveland would have no place.

I sorry fella, that’s something even Santa can’t do;
If that’s what you want, then there’s nothing for you.”

“You see there are too many things that stand in your way;
From the front office, to coaching, to the way that they play.”

Then he rattled off the reasons, one by one;
Explaining to us why it couldn’t be done.

“Winslow is too cocky, and Quinn’s finger is broken;
Lewis is too quiet and Braylon is too outspoken;

“The defense isn’t tackling and the offense can’t score”;
I winced at the list and I knew there was more.

Savage is too mean and Crenell is too nice;
And it’s costing a fortune keeping Phil’s foot on ice.”

He sighed a huge sigh as he finally turned away;
“If they can’t do it in a season, I can’t do it in one day.”

But the he stopped and he thought and his big smile grew;
And he made us this promise that I’m telling to you.

I’ll have my best elf trainers start working post season;
They’ll give you a team that I’m sure will be pleasin’”.

They’ll use Christmas magic to whip them into a team;
It’ll make them tough and really quite mean.”

The coaches will be strong and the players all healthy;
The defense will crush and the offense will be stealthy”.

“We’ll work them hard” he said with a grin;
“And next year you’ll have a team that will win”.

I looked and Santa and gave him the eye;
He quickly shot back, “Hey, would Santa lie?”

And as he said that, he touched a finger to his nose,
And up through the elevator he quickly rose.

As the game started I all did a double take;
As I saw Santa flying over the stadium and then the lake.

As he flew over the fans we could hear him cheer;
“Merry Christmas Cleveland and just wait till next year!”

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